Meet The Gremlins in Your Head
Part quest, part coaching. Meet your gremlins, map your patterns, and get a report that actually helps.
What's a Gremlin Scan
Ever feel like you’re fighting invisible forces inside yourself?
You set goals, make plans, try your best —
…but somehow, you self-sabotage. Procrastinate. Overthink. Ghost your own dreams.
That’s not random.
That’s your inner Gremlins at work.
The Gremlin Scan is a cozy, 1:1 session where we gently uncover the patterns running the show behind the scenes — and map out who’s really pulling the levers.
It’s playful. It’s powerful.
And it might just change how you relate to yourself forever.
You Can’t Fight What You Haven’t Faced
You’re not lazy. Broken. Unmotivated.
You’re just running a quest with invisible party members you’ve never met.
Until you name the Gremlins, you’ll keep ghosting your own goals —
no matter how many planners, mindset hacks, or dopamine fasts you try.
The real block? It’s not willpower.
It’s protection.
And these parts of you? They’re tired of being misunderstood.
Meet The Gremlins...
The Never Enough
💬 “Perfection or perish. There is no in-between.”
Endlessly optimizing — even themselves.
Terrified to ship version 1.0.
The Pretender
💬 “Blend in. Perform. Survive the social dungeon.”
High charisma, low authenticity.
Masks up to stay safe — even when it costs their truth.
The Freeze
💬 “Loading… Please wait… Forever.”
Knows the quest. Can’t roll initiative.
Stuck in tactical analysis paralysis.
The Overgiver
💬 “If I carry the whole party, maybe they won’t leave.”
Overleveled support class. No potions left.
Still trying to prove they’re worthy of love.
The Fade
💬 “Feeling? Nah. I’ve got tabs open for that.”
Master of side quests and scroll holes.
Numbs out to dodge the final boss: sensation.
What You'll Get
45-Minute 1:1 Zoom Session
A live deep dive into the parts of you that sabotage, stall, or spiral — and why.
Reveal Your Top Gremlins
We’ll name and explore the inner personas that take over when you’re scared, stuck, or stretched.
Discover Your Shadow Work Style
Understand your default avoidance pattern — and how to start gently rewriting it.
Map Your Inner Quest
Where are you in the mythic arc of transformation? Together, we’ll find your coordinates — and your next move.
After Your Scan, You’ll Walk Away With…
– A clearer understanding of why you self-sabotage — and how to shift it
– Language to describe the parts inside you (so they stop running the show)
-A snapshot of your current inner landscape and quest phase
– Tools to navigate future stuckness with less shame and more clarity
– A renewed sense of direction — and maybe even some self-compassion
Begin Your Gremlin Scan Journey
Gremlin Scan
A cozy 45-min 1:1 session that blends mythic insight, playful psychology, and personalized reflection to reveal the inner parts that sabotage, protect, and confuse the quest.-
👥 45-min 1:1 Zoom session with Brendon
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🧠 Your top Gremlin(s) revealed
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🧙 Archetype breakdown + % of your subtypes
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📄 Personalized PDF report with tools, insights & next steps
*All prices listed in USD.
The Gremlins Are Waiting.
Maybe you’ve met them before — the voice that second-guesses everything, the part that procrastinates, the one that always finds a way to pull the emergency brake right when things get good.
They’re not here to ruin your life.
They’re just… misunderstood.
This scan isn’t about slaying your shadows — it’s about understanding them. Befriending them. Learning how to work with your inner crew instead of fighting yourself at every turn.
Whether you’re just curious, feeling a little stuck, or deep in a season of change — the Gremlins are already talking.
This time, let’s listen.
You bring the bravery. We’ll bring the torchlight.
Let’s turn those inner critics into curious companions.